New Year's Resolutions and Taunting Treadmills

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope each of you had a healthy, safe holiday season. I guess now it's back to the real world. I've decided that I have a love/hate relationship with the New Year. I love the idea of 12 fresh, new months unfolding before me. But... I hate my treadmill. The way it beckons to me from the corner of the room, taunting me with memories of all the food I've inhaled since.. well, Thanksgiving.

At the beginning of each new year, I used to make a detailed list of about a hundred completely unrealistic resolutions, psyche myself up and get started. I'd get up well before the sun and exercise for an hour. Then I'd shower, read my Bible and eat a nutritious breakfast, complete with two 8-ounce glasses of water. I was sweet and patient with my kids, professionally dressed for work and ON TIME everywhere I went. I ate a healthful lunch, taking time to stretch for 10 minutes and listen to soothing music. After work, I picked up the kids from daycare and school, hugging each one and asking how her day was, listening intently to their responses. Next came a healthful dinner that all the kids loved, after which the whole family snuggled and read books until bedtime. Do I really need to tell you the rest of the story? You got it - it lasted about 48 hours. Then I was back to my frazzled, breakfast (and exercise) skipping, tired, grouchy self. I always ended up feeling overwhelmed, anxious and miserable, which caused me to despise my "lack of discipline" and the first day of January.

Fast forward five years. I've learned from that vicious try-fail-hate myself cycle. Now, I do it differently. At the beginning of each new year, I 1) think about my priorities and 2) jot down a few things that I would like to improve on and one or two dreams I have for my life and family. It's encouraging to think back on the previous year and realize that I did learn, grow and change, even if only in small ways. I mess up a lot, and I still have a long way to go, but thankfully I'm not where I was 10 years ago. I fall short of expectations - my own and other people's. But the realization that each day matters and the assurance that God's grace is new every morning - not just some mornings - helps me keep things in perspective. When I think about the moments I'll share with the people I love, the books I'll read and the places I'll go, I feel grateful and optimistic about 2008. Who knows? I might even get up on that treadmill.