Well, isn't this just self-discovery month for me? Not exactly what I was hoping for when we swore off eating out. Sigh. Today's "Life Lesson for Lisa" was that I use food, especially restaurant food, to self medicate when I'm sad or stressed.
Our beloved 98-year-old neighbor, Pauline, passed away and her funeral was today. Since neither she nor we have family in the area, we sort of adopted each other over the past decade. She was self-sufficient, spunky and smart. (The library delivered 12 books to her once a month, and she read every one of them.) Her stories entertained us; her independence amazed us, and her card-playing ability was legendary. (She won every time she played against my kids.) Her light shone bright in our neighborhood and in our lives. We loved her dearly and miss her already.
All that to say that I really wanted Chinese food today. I managed to convince myself that hot, steamed rice, seasoned veggies and tender chicken would heal my heart. What a sad commentary on the place food occupies in my life. My head knows that food can't comfort in the wake of grief, that Chinese take out won't bring Pauline back. But I was willing to give it a try. To be brutally honest, if it weren't for knowing I had to be accountable to others via this blog, I would have thrown my promise out the window and sprinted straight for Canton Inn.
So, maybe this month isn't about frugality at all, at least not entirely. Or, maybe our hearts' desires manifest themselves through the ways we spend money, even-maybe especially-when we're in pain.
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